California Dreamin'

Hello!

No worries, I am still alive ;) and all is well. I realize it has been forever since I last posted. It's partly because so much of my time has been consumed with catching up at school and getting things done that I wasn't able to do during treatment. But also because I was kind of intentionally waiting until this week to post again in anticipation for Friday. Tomorrow March 30th, marks my big appointment day. I start with a CAT Scan, then have blood work, meet with the oncologist/endocrinologist, see the nuclear med team, and wrap up the day with my surgeon. Once again, thank the Lord for health insurance. The CAT Scan will determine if the cancer has actually spread to my thymus gland between my lungs or if it appeared on the last scan as a fluke. If it has, my guess is the plan would be to have surgery and then another round of radiation. Time will soon tell, and either way I am not worried in the least bit. The only thing I'm a little concerned about is my claustrophobia during the scan. I'll just have to come up with some great thoughts to keep my mind racing and my eyes closed. It worked last time!

Many people have asked how I have been feeling. I wish I could say that I'm back to normal. However that is not the case. There are still good and bad days. My stamina is pitiful.  Numerous times simply going up a flight of stairs causes me to get out of breath and I have to sit down. I've been to a couple fitness classes and each time it's a reminder of how weak my muscles have gotten and that I am essentially starting from scratch with getting into shape. I was thinking yesterday as I was on the cardio machine that just 5 months ago I ran 13.1 miles in the hills of San Francisco--and I was sick but didn't know it. It serves as good motivation, but also bums me out because I would love to be able to run more than a single, measly mile at that pace today.

Another thing I have been battling is a problem with gluten. This is something I have known for a while but it seems to have gotten worse lately. When you have one autoimmune disease (Hashimoto's Thyroidits in my case) you are very susceptible to another one. There are hundreds of possibilities, but Celiac's Disease is a common one. Celiac's means you have an intolerance to the gluten found in all wheat products, and eating it destroys the epithelial cells of your intestine. To determine if I have it for sure, they would have to do a small bowel biopsy because of course, my blood work came back inconclusive. So for now I have been on a gluten free diet for almost two weeks and have noticed a significant difference in symptoms. I have also had a few low blood sugar "attacks" lately. All of the symptoms of hypoglycemia present themselves (rapid heart rate, clammy palms, light headed, confusion, shakiness, etc.) and I can cure it by eating a few pieces of candy. Some days I notice a ketoacidosis taste in my mouth as well. This is another sign, along with the hypoglycemia, that it could be type 1 diabetes--another autoimmune disease. I haven't told the doctor about this yet, but I'm going to fast Friday morning so when I do tell them that they can run an A1C and glucose test to rule that out. I'm praying that those symptoms are because my medication needs to be adjusted to a higher dosage, and that it is not diabetes.

But enough of that stuff...on to something exciting.

I am officially moving to California!!!!

I have always said my back-up plan for a gap year before medical school would be to spend quite a few months in Africa or move to Wine Country and live with my best friend. As much as I would absolutely love to go to Africa, the timing just isn't right. This fall I will need reliable internet access to fill out secondary applications and the easy ability to fly back and forth for interviews. Both are unfortunately not possible in Kenya. So the plan is to move back home after graduation for the summer, continue the job I love working for two ophthalmologists, watch my brother dominate on the diamond, take the wonderful MCAT in July, and spend free time with family and loved ones. Then in early August I will pack up and head west on I-80.

Finding a job was the first thing I knew I needed to line up. Already, I have wonderful leads with two groups of ophthalmologists in the North Bay area. They are both anxious to meet me and want to make something work! The knowledge I will acquire from all of the doctors will be priceless. And to remind you all how small of a world we live in, the first office I called, the manager informed me that she is from Wayne. Crazy, right? It gets better. The second office told me they love hiring students waiting a year to go to nursing or medical school and that one of the surgeons was an All-American gymnast here at the University and then spent some time in the Olympics. Unbelievable. Clearly this is all part of God's plan. It's not just by chance that you randomly look up ophthalmologists, call their office inquiring about working for them (they had no job postings), send your requested resume, find out you are all connected in some way, and then end the conversation being told there's a great chance they will have a job for you! When all of that happened, I was left speechless.

Now I should say that not a day goes by that I don't think about starting medical school this fall. It still hurts. But in the mess of everything that is going on, I feel like I finally have a sense of clarity in one area of my life. When my friend and I went on a hike out in California a few weeks ago, we were standing there overlooking the ocean. I remember thinking to myself that I needed to see that for more than just a few days. The moment was perfect. It was then I decided a move might be exactly what I need.

The way I see it, God has given me one year to do whatever I desire. Time to get healthy, release some stress, and figure out what "normal" feels like (if that's possible). Having the option to go to the beach, spend a day in the city, wake up surrounded by vineyards, take a trip to Tahoe, explore the gold coast, make memories with my best friend, attend MLB games, cheer on my Broncos from Oakland (as long as I don't get beat up by those psycho fans), and the chance to experience an entirely different part of this country, will be remarkable. Before cancer, taking a year off before starting medical school was a thought I couldn't stand. But things have drastically changed. I have worked tirelessly for the past 5 years to make my dream of becoming a physician a reality. That was crumbled with a simple letter in the mail and only 2 more points on a standardized test. And since high school I have maintained a healthy lifestyle through good nutrition and exercise. Yet even so, at the age of 22 I was diagnosed with cancer. Now please note that in no way do I want sympathy or pity. This is all a beautiful blessing in disguise. Instead of being 31 when I finish medical school and residency, I will now be 32, and filled with memories from a year of new adventures. I have been given a chance to just be Keri, and to live life to the fullest. And to be honest, I am one happy girl.

As I have always said, everything happens for a reason. And the saying, "If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans," could not be more fitting for my life. It seems as though my adventure has only just begun. And who knows, maybe I'm supposed to go to medical school out in California. By moving there, the opportunity for acceptance into those schools greatly increases. Again, only time will tell where I end up.

I promise I will update you on how my day of appointments goes tomorrow. No matter what the doctors report, everything will work out. My mom is coming to town after she gets off work today to attend Gamma Phi Beta's annual philanthropy, French Toast Feed, tonight. It has never worked for any of my family to attend, so what better time than my senior year. Then her and I will head off to my aunt's house for the night before our early start tomorrow.

I hope you all are having a wonderful day!

"Life is for the living. It's for grabbing onto and living on the wild side. Life is not about sitting safely in the harbor, but about casting off the bowlines and heading into the unknown. Live life to the fullest today."