Sunlit Serenity

Life is weird. And I think God likes it that way. As I sit on the boardwalk along a beautiful beach in Jacksonville (awaiting the arrival of my brother and grandparents later this evening), sipping a refreshing cucumber mojito, admiring the mighty ocean, yet calming sounds, I simply smile and laugh. Just hours ago I was flying high above the clouds. It was the perfect vantage point. Somehow, thanks to the help of physics, I was above the sun as it broke the horizon. The ground and early sky were on fire. It reminded me of the opening scene in The Lion King when Simba is presented to the world on Pride Rock. Again, I was peering out the window, lightly chuckling to myself. Prior, on the way to the airport from the hotel, a stranger and I struck up conversation. I shared I was a PA student and she proceeded to tell me both her daughter and daughter-in-law are physician assistants. She continued on about each of their stories and how they ended up where they are today. So weird. I say that because it was only hours prior that I was lying in the hotel bed, planning/thinking through/analyzing fearfully, what my next round of school will entail. God knew I needed to meet that woman in the wee morning hours. And I needed to hear her stories. (And I really needed to be sleeping instead of worrying, because all it left me with was heavy eyes and dark circles—thanks to a whopping 3 hours of sleep.) And while I probably will never see her again, she was a tiny miracle. She offered serenity.

To add to my “life is weird” collection, I opened my Jesus Calling daily devotional on the plane and its words fit perfectly, as usual. Speaking of growing closer to His constant presence in our lives, and how we are continually showered, like rays of sunlight, with His blessings and miracles, we just need the eyes to see and ears to hear. And let me tell you, this glistening sunlight tingling my skin, is pure heaven. Finally, just prior to my decision to write, I pulled out one of the books I have been eagerly waiting to read, The Fault in Our Stars. Smack dab in the middle of one of the first pages was “thyroid cancer” blaring back at me, as if those two words were formatted 10x the size, bolded, highlighted, and underlined twice. At the same time, my favorite song, “Here Comes the Sun” by the Beatles, started playing. A few pages later? The Serenity Prayer. And for those whom may be unfamiliar, here it is:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage the change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

So you see, God was really enjoying Himself today; coming up with numerous ways to announce a message I indeed needed repeated:  take delight in the sun and find serenity.

After the joyous chaos of the holidays, I think everyone needs that reminder. While we all like to believe extra time off work, families gathering, and mounds of food and presents will bring peace and happiness, I believe if people were truly honest with themselves, this might just be a hoax. Now, a quick disclaimer, I am not a Scrooge or the Grinch. I love the holidays as much as Cindy Lou Who, but I am also very aware of the pain they can cause—some years more than others.

Beginning with Thanksgiving, my family’s longstanding holiday traditions started to shift. Everything from little things like what songs my grandmother wanted to hear me play on the piano, to really big things like the absence of a family member. Naturally, an array of emotions clung to each change. And I think it’s safe to say my mother, uncle, brother, and myself all took unspoken turns at being the glue holding it all together. Because that’s what change requires; a deep inner strength and confidence that, for some reason, this is exactly how things are supposed to be. A common phrase became of all this—we called it “our new normal.”

It should have been of no surprise today that The Serenity Prayer was exactly what my heart needed last night/early this morning. As a child, my parents spoke of it frequently and lived it daily, for reasons I would not come to understand until high school. And with the diagnosis of cancer, now almost 2 years ago (so hard to believe!), my mom reiterated its importance and it became an immediate rock in my daily life, too. With major changes in our lives more recently, it has once again proven steadfast as a powerful source of strength and hope.

So today, while I sit here admiring the view and laughing at the weirdness of life, stirred up by the hand of God, my prayer for each of you is this:

I pray you had a wonderful holiday. And that if your traditions were a little “off” this year, that you can find the hidden grace and joys  “a new normal” brings. I pray that you see the many beautiful rays of reasons to be happy. Those little blessings in disguise. And may the New Year bring serenity to your heart.

Sun Kissed,

Keri