Imagine.
The simple, yet ambiguous, word that captured majority of my attention on Friday afternoon. It was used over and over again throughout my White Coat Ceremony.
October 25th was one of the most anticipated days in my life thus far. And I think I speak for my entire class when I say it was a day we had imagined long ago. (And more recently, thanks to anatomy, some imagined they would not make it to that day.) Sitting there, we heard phrases along the lines of, "Years of hard work and perseverance have brought you here this day." Or, "As exciting as this all is, it's only the beginning. The work ahead of you is just as difficult, if not more, than what it took to get here." And, "There will undoubtably be moments in which it will take all you have to imagine yourself at the end of this road, caring for your patient." Wait a minute. I thought this was supposed to be one big ceremony patting us on the back followed by celebratory cheers?? Kidding.
The tradition of receiving ones white coat was established back in the 80's at Columbia University. It was a fear of medical leaders at the time that professionals were losing sight of what medicine truly means. Many were using their title as a way to set them apart from those "less dignified." A self-proclaimed precedence that they were far more superior than their patients.
Which led to the creation of a formal ceremony presentation to proclaim the symbolic relevance of the infamous white coat. The purity reflected in its white color, a token of compassion and honor, and a constant reminder that we as medical professionals are held to a standard of care entrusted by our patients.
A wide range of emotions flooded my mind. As expected, I was in a little disbelief that this long awaited moment had arrived. I could not help but smile at the sight of my classmates taking their turn at the stage. Each with a different story that led them to that day. My heart raced as I imagined myself face planting in front of everyone due to a slight case of nerves combined with jello legs and heels! When I looked down the row at loved ones present, I was overwhelmed with gratitude knowing the sacrifices made along the way to foster my success. Including making the trip to be with me that day. I also felt a sense of uneasiness. Which was something I did not expect prior. But upon receiving that coat, I became part of that higher standard and set of expectations society naturally has for medical professionals. Exactly what I should have always wanted right? Yes, that is true. It has been a dream of mine for as long as I can remember to sacrifice for the good of others medically. But the moment that becomes an official reality is quite surreal. "Terrifyingly wonderful," might be a better phrase.
It was an all-around incredible day to say the least. For so many years I imagined what it would be like to study medicine. I painted a picture in my mind treating imaginary patients while wearing a white coat. What my daily routine will consist of once I am an established medical professional is another imagined scenario of mine. And as with every fairytale, there are battles to be won. I'll be the first to admit the fights are exhausting and stressful. But I also know it's in those moments of fear and doubt that true strength is found. Then, when that magical day you have aways imagined becomes a reality, the sense of pride and accomplishment is so incredibly rewarding. (Remind me of this when I call in frustration and anger; questioning why in the world I chose to put myself through such torture! Haha)
So that's it. My closet officially contains the piece of clothing I have always wanted. A dream come true.
In exactly two weeks, I will be back up at Mayo Clinic going through a variety of tests and scans, followed by appointments with my doctors reviewing the results. It's one of those things that I want to hurry up and get here but I like the idea of dragging my feet a bit. For example, there have been a few incidences lately that are practically screaming, "KERI CALL YOUR DOCTOR," buuuut I have yet to do that. I've been busy! Plus, I'm fine. (Don't tell my roommate. A few white lies may have been used to stop her nagging.) It could not be more true that doctors make the worst patients. But at the same time, I want things figured out and fixed. So I'm pretty sure that's a lose-lose either way I look at it ha. I have no fears. Whatever comes will be. I will proceed with the next trip on this crazy adventure. Reservedly though, I will admit my only concern is how all of the timing will play out with the potential steps ahead. However, that is not for me to figure out. I've hired the most incredible personal assistant to take care of the messy details. In fact, He's already got it all figured out before I even have the slightest clue. Pretty incredible huh? You should look Him up.
Once I know what all comes of my appointments, I promise I will set aside time to post an update. For now, I'm just going to keep smiling at the shining white coat hanging pressed outside my closet door :) No more imagining.
xoxo
