How Sweet the Sound

In the past couple days, almost every one of my patients (along with numerous community members) have brought up the "scary ebola situation" at UNMC, and then proceed to ask, "What do you think about all of this?!" In a tone of disgust. And to be honest, when I initially heard the news, my only thought was, "How awesome." But it quickly became apparent that my opinion was one of minority. So. I decided to think a little harder about how I feel. And what better way to spend a quick break between patients? (Although I do have a very nice stack of charts to catch up on!)

Now, I should probably add a disclaimer before I proceed. All of what I am about to write is my own opinion, influenced by nothing other than my own heartfelt thoughts. With that being said, I will gladly listen to "the other side" and respect any and all concerns. I just ask you do the same with me :)

First, I am frustrated by the entire situation. We finally have potentially exciting and profound news to discuss--as compared to hate crimes, continual unrest in the East, and the "tragic" death of another celebrity--yet "we" (as in news commentary, social media posts, and mainly very narrow-minded/naive citizens etc.) are still quick to point out all of the negatives.

I wish everyone would pause for a second and picture this man as their husband, father, grandfather, or son. Would they still want nothing to do with him? Wish that he would get as far away from an outstanding hospital as possible? Just let him die; it's better we only lose one versus risk the lives of many? Treat him as a "thing" instead of their loved one? I am immediately reminded of the story in the bible when Jesus heals the man with leprosy. The disfigured man was shunned. Isolated. An outcast. Yet, in God's eyes he was still His son. A man that deserved no less than everyone else. And as Christians we are taught to model the life of Jesus; be His eyes, ears, hands, and feet here on Earth. I don't think I have to spell out how He might handle this current "situation" in Omaha--it's blatantly obvious.

The entire team working here in Nebraska is to be commended. They are practicing acts of amazing grace. As medical providers we sign up for this. We take an oath proclaiming we will do all it takes to help each and every patient. Proof that love is the only evidence needed to do our work. Like I said, divine acts of amazing grace--and how sweet the sound!

Furthermore, "little, nowhere Nebraska" is now on the map for the entire world to follow. How incredible! Everyone from the suffering families in Africa, to medical professionals all over the world, along with curious citizens, are united. United in one, with one common hope: a treatment (and hopefully a cure) for one awful and deadly disease.

So today, I simply ask that you open your hearts. Find the positives. Live as Jesus would. And pray. Pray for peace on Earth--no matter the circumstance.

Amazing grace. Such a beautiful, beautiful sound.

xoxo

"I see Jesus in every human being. I say to myself, "This is hungry Jesus, I must feed him. This is sick Jesus. This one has leprosy or gangrene; I must wash him and tend to him. I serve because I love Jesus." -Mother Teresa

Neverland

Life is really fun when you live in denial. Well, not technically denial. More so just brushing things off--enjoying all of the exciting acute happenings versus tending to the chronic not-so-exciting situations. But as we all know, life in Neverland can only last so long.

It is obvious that sports play a major role in my life. The Creighton basketball season last year was one for the record books. My week out in New York City for the Big East tournament was also one for the record books. But I paid for it big time when I returned. Initially I thought I was simply exhausted from late nights celebrating victories at CenturyLink East (Madison Square Garden). But as the week went on, things quickly worsened. I finally went in for labs after a professor proclaimed, "Keri, with all do respect, you look like complete hell." (Sadly, I had actually tried to look halfway decent that day at the hospital!) Strep negative. Mono negative. But the CBC was not pretty. My white blood cells had bottomed out leaving me with hardly an immune system. A harsh reminder that as much as I try to push myself, my body will always win in the end. Time off from school was brought up by that same professor, but if you've been following my journey from the beginning, you know as well as I do that conversations of that matter do not go over well with me. I appreciated the concern, but quickly eliminated that as an option. Instead I chose to sleep even more, slow down a tad, and keep up with routine labs. Then naturally once baseball season began, my focus was on my favorite pitcher. Kyle's recruiting journey was a whirlwind. Every text was like opening a present, not knowing what exciting surprise awaited. But at the end of the day, my to-do list always seemed to include things such as: Call Dr. So&So, Schedule appointment at X, Find time to go home for overdue labs, Have the pharmacy send the new prescriptions, etc. All simple tasks, that I continually seemed to not have time to complete. Or chose to not. "Just get through this next block. Finals are only 3 months away. Summer will go by in a blink--then I'll have time." All repeated statements I used to push forward, keeping me in Neverland.

So here I sit. Summer is coming to an end. Kyle is settled and thriving at A&M. My fantasy football team is ready to go. Clinical rotations could not be going any better. Life is good! Except for that health stuff somewhere in the background. My labs have been on a roller coaster since the Spring. New doses of medications and endless blood draws. And recently, another bout of a damaged immune system. Naturally, I attributed these past few weeks of feeling crummy to a busy schedule, but nothing is improving. In fact today, I couldn't talk when I woke up, and absolutely nothing will touch the soreness and inflammation in the back of my throat. My spleen is once again enlarged, fevers constantly come and go, the wheezing has picked up, and most days I could fall asleep standing up if I just closed my eyes--even after nine hours of sleep and Starbucks' golden goodness. But I must admit, timing isn't half bad this round. Because tomorrow I begin a series of routine appointments and labs/scans/tests with my oncologists. *Pending I still have health insurance--which is an entirely different dilemma not suitable for this post. For now, I'll keep it simple and say it's been a really rough couple weeks.*

I've had a few people ask me if I'm worried. And the answer is no. Not at all. To be honest, I'm looking forward to finding answers and hopefully some relief. And as frustrating as all of this can be at times, there are many other people fighting much tougher battles than myself. One of the reasons I love medicine is that each day is so very humbling. My short time so far in the clinic has made this undoubtably apparent. And I know I've said it before, but His plans are greater. All is well, and all will be well. And maybe if I just toned down my nights at the State Fair, jamming at the various concerts, (See evidence below. Brought to you from the second row at Styx.) and dancing away in the Nebraska Good Life beer garden, just maybe I would feel a tad better. But what fun is life if you're not living it to the fullest?!

Which reminds me, I need to find one of those magical fairies so I can fly with the lost boys ;) See you in Neverland!

xoxo