Beauty Marks

Scar.

If you look it up in the dictionary you find:

scar  [skahr] 

  

noun

1.

a mark left by a healed wound, sore, or burn.

2.

a lasting aftereffect of trouble, especially a lasting psychological injury resulting from suffering or trauma.

3.

any blemish remaining as a trace of or resulting from injury or use.

I am sure many of you can quickly point to any number of physical scars on your body and take a walk down memory lane, retelling every detail of how that keloid (build-up of tissue) made its mark on your once flawless skin. Then there's those emotional scars that only you can truly feel. They leave their mark on your heart, only visible if you allow them to be.

Regardless of the type, each brings pain. In some situations, such as in the "traumatic boo-boo" experienced by a 3 year old, the pain lasts a mere 7 seconds before all is well. Others, however, take years to heal. And even then some do not truly disappear, you just adjust and accept things as they now are.

And regardless of the type, they are not what I would call "fun." (Unless of course you fought off a shark attacking your family while snorkeling in the Cayman Islands, and lived to tell your heroic story.) Personally, my scars aren't the most appealing to the general public. They are rough, some might call them a stroke of bad luck, carry with them a wide range of emotions, and are continually with me on a daily basis. Yet they make up exactly who I am.

This past January, I celebrated my 3 Year Cancerversary. I still cannot wrap my mind around that fact. January 9th, 2012 feels like yesterday. Every detail still clear as day. Yet so much has changed. And today marks the final day of my radiation treatment protocol that year, as well. Scars. Ever present.

But scars are beauty marks. They show character. Determination. Fight. Resillience. And strength. The best part? God loves them. Honestly! Not too long ago, I was listening to a sermon at church. We were told, "In the end, we will be judged by our scars." At first, it was puzzling. Why would our scars hold such a value? Especially when some could be self-inflicted by sin. But the more I thought, the more it made sense. Scars also require the trust of His plan. One of my favorite quotes by Mother Teresa is, "I know God will never give me more than I can handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much." Because no matter the circumstance, we will be given the gifts and blessings necessary to fulfill His plan for our lives. And what a beautiful sense of relief that provides!

With the turning of the new year, so much has been uncharted territory. Confusion about what to do with my current medications--as laboratory results continue to be puzzling, insurance uncertainties, ever-changing medical rotations, family struggles, the beginning steps of communication with a lost loved one, and the common fear of the unknown. And all of these situations can be attributed to some scar or another, or have created a new. But if I stop and surrender my life to His loving arms, I find peace within myself. And it is good.

Wishing you all a blessed start to 2015 and the prayer that you may come to see His continual gifts and blessings surrounding you daily.

xoxo

Below is picture of me in "isolation" post-radiation 3 years ago. 

It's funny--just today I was complaining about how much progress I need to make in a few areas and then one look at old photos and it puts it all into perspective. 

Oh the inside jokes associated with this! Laughter truly is the best medicine.